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Of All Things

from Voxes: Stimulant by Sig Figs Collective

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lyrics

[instrumental]
(whispered) Kugrash, you abandoned them
(whispered) Kugrash, where did you go / Did you even love your family?
(whispered) You belong in the sewer / Wally needed you.
(whispered) David hates you / You’re a fucking rat

[disembodied whispers continue, instrumental builds]
(spoken) Make sure you say goodbye

[instrumental]
I’ve lived a life that’s small and putrid, drowning in regret
There are things I’ve done that I’d like to forget
A lifetime spent in the sewers with a light at the end of the tunnel
An approaching subway car; destination: the concrete jungle

And you work conducting train through snow and rain
I know I’ve stained your soul with abandonment and pain
But Wally you don’t seem to mind
You conduct your work with pride
As you drive this subway to collide with the outside of my heart
Now how do I depart?

You’re the best son that I could have asked for, you beautiful bastard
Cause I don’t deserve all this love without heed
Soon the world discover your compassion for others
I can’t help but wonder what things you will achieve
If I was a better father, I would have worked harder
And would have gone farther to see you succeed
But now I have to leave
So can I just say

Of all the things that give me hope
Things that make me feel alive
Inside, what fills me with pride
Is you and your brother
You both make me stronger
And of all the things that I’ve done wrong
Of all the people I’ve betrayed
I pray that I could just stay
To watch you both grow
But now I must go
And even though this is a last goodbye
You should know that as I pass beyond this life
I’ll watch you grow and work and love and sacrifice
Wally and David,
I love you more than all things

I spent so many years defiant, feeling sorry for myself
But I slowly recognized the suffering I’d dealt
So I developed the perspective to see others in distress
And from that point on I’ve aided my fellow dispossessed
But you have the natural empathy that it took me years to see
Helping those fucked by scumbag businessmen like me
David, my son, I’m proud of the man you’ve become
You’re someone I wish I was when I was young

But I ran away from my feelings, abandoned my family
Wally, and you: the two who needed me most
You’re a f*ckin’ ball-buster with a passionate luster
To protect others without as much as a boast
And I know you don’t forgive me, I would say I’m sorry
But there’s no apology that would let me hold you close
Just let me try my utmost
And can I just say

(chorus)

I have to go
I feel my consciousness expand
I can’t have what I want
Some dreams have to end
But Wally, David, just know in your heart
That I’ll be protecting you from somewhere
(spoken) I’m so proud of you
Goodbye.

(whispered) You saved us Kugrash / You did it, Kug
[whispering continues, instrumental builds]

Wally and David: Goodbye, Dad.
(spoken) You got to say goodbye

[instrumental peaks]
Goodbye!

[instrumental continues to build]
[city sounds]

credits

from Voxes: Stimulant, released March 5, 2021
Of All Things
Song: Jackson (jacksonmachesky.bandcamp.com)
Visuals: Nour (@0CEANKNIVES)

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Sig Figs Collective Orlando, Florida

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